Ciroc Makes Her Clothes Fall Off
by Chiiharu
Summary: Silly, oblivious, naive Renata. Taking care of a drunk woman isn't fun. At all.


**A/N:** Success! XD;;

Okay, so I shouldn't really even be cheering because it's not like I spent two months writing this thing. I started it yesterday, for everyone who wants to know how fast I am. Yesterday late at night. Anywho, this was written for the soul purpose of enthusing Brendee. I would type her penname, but for some reason FF doesn't allow the use of excessive periods after each word. Huh.

I didn't make an official announcement, but I promised I'd write a oneshot for whoever caught my 666th review for CCFA, and she asked for a story about Renata and Lucrecia, actually. XD;;; Very different from the things I normally get asked, and I've never written a one shot with Renata as a central character in it. At all. XD;;

See, Renata is Brendee's favorite character, so I had to do her some justice. XD;;; That being said, this is pre-Dark Ages arc. XD;; Pre, pre, preeeee-Dark Ages arc.

Which means that everyone is still alive, and this is before the Summoners invaded-*shot* XD;;; Renata is referred to as "Princess Renata" instead of "Queen Renata". We got that? Yes? Yes? Yes. XD;; So there shouldn't be any strange questions. This idea came to me yesterday as I came home from my long, long,_ extremely_ long Homecoming day, and my brother was shitface-drunk. I mean. This man was naked on the toilet for about two hours. It's _no fun_ having to watch someone who's drunk unless they're planking on the floor. He was moving around. Urgh. Underage drinking. XD;; Naked though. Oh, the horror. And my dad's all freaking out about my bro's man bits and I'm like, "Whaaat, you've never seen man bits before?" XD;;

Needless to say, he's in a bunch of trouble.

Also, I think it should be known that I don't listen to music that goes hand-in-hand with what I'm writing. If you want to be amused, you should go on Youtube and look up H.A.M by Kanye West and Jay-Z. XD;;;

I'm 'bout to go ham, harder than a motherfucker let these niggas know who I amm-*massacred*

* * *

><p><strong><span>-: Ciroc Makes Her Clothes Fall Off :-<span>**

* * *

><p>Five minutes.<p>

That's all the Princess needed. Just five mere minutes. It was bad enough that she was running late to a press conference in the Palace of the Sky—for some reason, she had been late doing a lot of things today. Renata chews her lower lip, her eyebrows twitching. The royal woman tries her hardest to stop from sobbing, but the tears are pushing against her willpower and she feels that at any moment she'll just bust open like a balloon and collapse on the ground, dress and all. Which would be bad. She's wearing an expensive, gold and white dress that falls down to the floor and trails behind her, sparkling with each step she takes. They're frantic steps, but they're steps all together.

Her majestic, pin-drop straight golden hair falls down her back in beautiful curly tresses, the tiara on her head finishing off her hairstyle with a hint of elegance. A princess through and through. Her mother wouldn't want her to look any other way. Speaking of Aysel... Urgh. The Princess shakes those thoughts out of her head and starts to pick up the pace, lifting up her expensive dress and cutting a corner around hallway as fast as she can. Renata's not ashamed to admit she can't run in high-heels—at least, not like Lucrecia can.

Speaking of Lucrecia.

That's who she's looking for. The fearsome Hero of the Palace of the Sky and the renounced fifth member of Aysel's guard. Renata specifically told Lucrecia that she needed five minutes. Three-hundred seconds. One point six six six six six—_urgh. _You get the idea. Milliseconds don't matter right now. What matters is that Renata's about to be late, and the fate of some of her mother's funds is at risk. Without someone of royal power to sign that contract, things could go straight to hell, and dammit, Aysel _trusted_ her to do it. So that tear running down Renata's left cheek? That's from sheer embarrassment. Nothing more. Maybe self-pity. And the thought of not being a very good daughter to her mother when she needs her the most. Maybe, just maybe Renata's always been a failure. Maybe Aysel secretly hated her from day one because she's _useless_.

Complete and utterly useless.

And with each late second that seems to dwindle away, she can't help but think it's true. The fair-skinned princess opens her eyes and daintily wipes her cheek with the back of her white-gloved hand. It isn't fair! Why does this have to happen to her, of all people? She won't blame Lucrecia; this is her fault and she knows it. She should have never went back to get her stupid pendant. What would she need it for? Today is an ordinary day. She was sure no one would try to fight her or hurt her or anything like that. Monsters are a rare sight in the Palace—suitors? Not so much. But they wouldn't be trying to kill her, right? Right. That's what she has Lucrecia for. Or _had_ her for.

Renata places her fingertips delicately on her forehead, closing her aureate eyes and pouting. Of course. She _would_ forget something like that. It's just so... Stupid! She wouldn't need her pendant, because Lucrecia is her bodyguard. The Princess never steps out of the castle without someone guarding her. Saivan had taught her that a long, long time ago and she's learned that rule well. It's become an almost automatic thing where she finds someone around the castle—more often than not at random—and begs them to come with her or escort her somewhere. It's the only real way she can be guaranteed to be safe.

She doesn't know what overcame Lucrecia.

Sure, she showed obvious signs of being outright angry at Renata randomly "picking her" to be her "fucking toy escort", but she meant well! … That was only to be expected. Lucrecia's not nice at all in the slightest to anyone. The goldette can vouch to that. She's never seen Lucrecia smile once in her life, and she's known Lucrecia for years. Wait, forget that, she's never seen Lucrecia in a good mood since she's met her. Even when she initially met her, Lucrecia shot her a bunch of dirty looks while throwing around a bunch of expletives she's never even heard before! Whenever Renata's around that woman, she feels so... _Dumb._

The young adult isn't very well-versed in street slang. It puzzles her almost as much as it puzzles Aysel, who can't understand a word of jargon that floats its way from Lucrecia's lips. The thought earns a guilty chuckle from Renata, but this still is a stressful situation. She's got about five minutes until the meeting starts.

Five.

Which is the same amount of time she told Lucrecia to wait for her.

And now she's gone.

Fumbling with her thoughts and her fingers, Renata closes her eyes again, her face turning red. Naira! Ah, yes, Naira understands_ everything_ that comes out of Lucrecia's mouth for some strange, odd reason. How does she know that? Because Naira responds to most of it with a scowl or a look of absolute repulsion. Renata starts to wonder how fast Naira would find Lucrecia, given her enhanced sense of smell. Naira always told her that everyone in the Dark Ages has a distinctive scent to them—that no two people smell the same, but now she wonders exactly how Lucrecia smells. Her strange ability is rather... Weird, to say the least. Too bad Naira's not here. She could use her nose.

That's why Lucrecia's always calling her a mutt, isn't it?

Ah. Now she gets the joke.

As her nervousness starts to fade, Renata holds both of her hands and begins to walk down a flight of stairs, looking for any traces of her escort. Where in the world could she have gone? She didn't leave, did she? Renata hates being left alone all to herself. Bad things happen when you're alone. What if she fell and broke her leg or something? Who would save her? What if the castle suffered from a massive black out? How would she be able to see and get to her room? Walking up several flights of stairs in the dark is _scary_. The Princess cringes, licking her lips. In fact, she almost trips over a peculiar-looking bottle. It's clear and slender; possibly about twelve inches long. The light-haired woman looks back, pulling her dress up and takes note of how the light's reflecting off it.

It's made out of glass.

Hesitantly, she bends over and picks up the bottle, turning it several ways before finding a name on the front of it in big, blue letters. She squints. It's not like she can't read because she can—she's a princess! She's fluent in both English and Latin. Latin is what most prestigious folk talk in around the Palace anyway. She'd be stupid not to learn it as a second language, especially when the opportunity is virtually costless. Zed taught her everything she knows, and she's eternally grateful for it. But this isn't Latin. Creasing her eyebrows, she holds the bottle further away from her and tilts her head.

"Ci... Cic... Ciree," Renata stresses, trying to make sense of the word on the bottle but another thing hits her. Smacks her dead in the face. There's some type of smell coming from the bottle and it isn't too forthcoming. It smells like some of the stuff her mother drinks, only stronger. Very much so. The Princess quirks her nose, glancing from the bottle as if she's in pain and looks at it again. "Ciroc." A pause. A blink. And then a miniature celebration. She smiles, her gorgeous face lighting up. "Ciroc! Sihrock." The way the word rolls off her tongue is absolutely enthralling. Just the thrill of actually overcoming a truly puzzling obstacle...

Now here's the fun part. She looks down the hall way, holding the empty bottle of "sihrock" in her hand loosely and inhaling. "Now where did this come from?" Whenever Renata spoke, her voice poured out like an elegant river, and every time she used the 'th' sound, her tongue would glide stunningly over her perfect, shiny white teeth and emit an adorable burst of air. The woman continues to walk down the corridor before she started smelling the same scent that was associated to the bottle she's holding. And then she sees it. Lucrecia's sitting against the wall, her hair messy from rubbing up against it, apparently, for God knows what. Her lab coat is disheveled and her eye glassy. As far as Renata's concerned, she doesn't even _have_ a pupil in her eye anymore. It's been reduced to a smooth, emerald green color.

Before she walked closer to Lucrecia, she seemed to be fast asleep. Renata guessed Lucrecia woke up because of the sound of her footsteps. "Lucrecia! Oh thank God, I—!" Before she can get the chance to finish her sentence, the scientist wraps her arms around Renata's legs, almost taking her down to the ground. Lucrecia's obviously more powerful than Renata is, and this is another reason why. Desperate to keep her feet flat on the floor, Renata wobbles a bit but manages to stay grounded. With confused golden eyes, she looks down at the brunette and her smile fades away. Here Lucrecia is, hugging Renata's legs for dear life, which is highly uncharacteristic of her. She doesn't just dish out free hugs.

"U-um..." Renata stutters, poking her index-fingers together. "Hello?" The one thing Renata hopes doesn't happen is Lucrecia going into one of her episodes. Maybe she really is, genuinely, trying to hug her this time and doesn't know how to express herself. Perhaps she's never been hugged in her life, so she doesn't know a hug isn't supposed to place itself on another person's legs. She used to be so happy. Renata frowns, stroking Lucrecia's hair and watching this grown woman—seven years older than her nuzzle her head into Renata's dress. The Princess remembers instances where she would sit at a table, all alone with a coffee cup in her hand, wrinkling her forehead and sinking her eyes. The first time she met her, she remember noting that she had brown hair.

That girl had brown hair.

Falling down her back in curly bunches. It looked like smoke from a freshly put out candle, or the spring of a ballpoint pen. "It wasn't always like this," she told her. Renata had never seen hair like it. How could someone's hair be so perfectly straight, and then curl out towards the ends? Every single strand of her chestnut-colored hair did the exact same thing. It was like magic. She doesn't regret running her fingers through Lucrecia's hair now, especially when she's being so... Affectionate. Have you ever seen her smile? I mean, really smile? Not the closed-mouthed stretch she's kept ready for the last few years. I mean, right out laugh. Lips-curled-and-teeth-showing-smile.

Yeah, Renata hasn't either.

She told her that she used to all the time with her hair flying free. With the sun and the moon fighting for a chance to shine down on her face.

She used to be so happy.

But the reality is that she used to be so run down. So exhausted. Couldn't even lift up her smallest finger unless someone else was watching. Renata can remember the sense of how sick Lucrecia was when she first walked into the castle. She used to be sick. So sick. Sick and tired of waking up every morning to go to sleep every night. And then she would stare into her coffee cup, taping her mechanical fingers on the table systematically with her watch still ticking. She was going to ask her what she was staring at, but that's usually when Zed would make his way around and there would be a guaranteed flying cup of coffee soaring across the sky in his direction—sometimes it'd hit the wall, and sometimes it'd smack some unsuspecting visitor in the face.

Lucrecia's not sorry.

She's never sorry.

Her grip tightens around Renata's legs and she kind of feels a tinge of pain from Lucrecia's clawed mechanical fingers. She tries her best not to yelp. For her sake. Obviously Lucrecia's sad. "Lucrecia? What is wrong with you?" Renata whispers, slowing her stroking and tilting her head. "It is very okay; I will stay here as long as I can to make sure you are all right." The Princess twitches. Hopeful Lucrecia is just pulling Renata's leg (pun not intended) and isn't really upset. Maybe this is a cruel joke. Well, okay, Renata'll be honest. Maybe she left Lucrecia for more than five minutes.

Maybe it was twenty.

Or an hour.

Or two.

But Renata never meant to leave her like that!

For the first time in several minutes, Lucrecia looks up at the golden princess and Renata's eyes widen.

Her beautiful green eye is so red and puffy that she doesn't know what to make of it. The scientist's face is a complete and utter wreck. Her cheeks are flushed, but it looks like she hasn't started crying. Yet. What is going on?

"Lucrecia—!"

"Do you know how much I loooove you... Hoooow much you mean to meeee?" she says, spluttering over half of her words and slurring pretty much every third one. Her voice was really hard to explain. It was all warm and flowing like gourmet, melted chocolate, and Renata felt relaxed when she let a word fall clumsily out of her mouth. That's the thing though. Lucrecia never sounds like that. Ever. In her normal state, she'd freeze that melted chocolate with her voice and it'd turn to ice, cold and hard, and her eye would second the notion. At least Renata's learned something new today. When Lucrecia's sad, her voice is like a lake in the middle of nowhere. Alone and small. She looks up at Renata, every muscle in her face pleading with the significantly younger girl. "... You are... My b-best friend and you are so good to be here with me when I am shitfaced drunk and I can't tell you how much that means to me."

She pauses to cry. And it's the loudest wailing Renata's ever heard in her life. Her grip loosens around the magically-inclined princess' legs and tears start rushing from Lucrecia's eyelashes as if they're racing to plummet to their dooms. "... Be-because you are so special to me. Please hold back my hair while I puke." Now her voice is reduced to a mere soothing whisper. "Thank you. I love you."

"Sure Lucrecia, anything you want—_what?_" Renata shrieks, taking a step back and looking for the regurgitated substance she was sure Lucrecia had vomited already. So. Lucrecia was lying then? It still doesn't change the fact that she just...! Her thoughts are cut short due to Lucrecia—who's standing on her bare knees—swaying back and forth before she falls face-first into the ground in slow-motion. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. Oh dear Evreet, what is Renata going to do about this? Putting on a look of absolute terror, Renata claps her cheeks together and her eyes start filling up with tears. "Oh no! Do not tell me I broke you, Lucrecia! I did not mean to leave you all by yourself like that! I am sorry! Truly and utterly sorry, I—! Do not tell Aysel, please do not tell Aysel, I will make it up to you I—!"

The realization she just had. Is scary. Absolutely bone-chillingly scary. She starts to walk around for several minutes, forgetting to pick up her dress. "What am I going to do? I can't take care of Lucrecia like this... Oh, this is just terrible, terrible news. No one else is in the castle—!" She's right, as much as she hates to admit it. Naira went to some school to demonstrate her mastery with swordplay. Naira had been training for weeks just for this very day, chopping down trees in Austere with one swift, brief stroke of her sword. Defina was out minding her own business, adding more bugs to her collection. … Adel was with Aysel. Doing Lord knows what. She always needed him around for stupid stuff, and Renata would admit it. Zed was being Zed, as he's never really around when you need him and tends to disappear quite a lot, despite having loads of work to do.

This would be challenging.

Think positive. You'll live, Renata. It's just a little sickness. From something she hasn't identified yet. Putting the glass bottle down, Renata grabs Lucrecia's wrists and struggles to pull her up to her feet. She hadn't expected Lucrecia to get up at all, but she did. She was still swaying, but now there's this stupid grin on her face. It makes Renata feel so nervous and uneasy that she looks in the other direction for a while, and then she looks at her bodyguard again. "Uhmmm! Well, first we have to figure out what it is that is ailing you, Lucrecia." She gives a hopeful nod. "I nearly lost my amulet trying to rush to find you. And I jabbed my finger in my door, whilst running in this direction..." In a burst of enthusiasm, Lucrecia lifts up her mechanical hand and her smile takes over most of her face, her eyes glowing with happiness.

"Amulet! Yes!" And the weirdest thing happens. She motions her hand towards Renata's head even closer, making the Princess take an unsure step back. The young adult glances at the ground and back at Lucrecia, anxiously laughing. She reluctantly accepts Lucrecia's high-five request, but she recoils because the metal of Lucrecia's mechanical arm hurts _so _bad. Especially when she's trying to kill the golden girl's hand with such a forceful smack... Renata picks her up her face again, her freehand hovering over her chest.

"I guess that is a good thing? I found it, do not worry," she reassures. "I really think we should go to that meeting now, the one that I requested you go with me to—"

"Meetings, bitch! HIGH-FIVE time!"

"A-are you high-fiving the meeting, or meetings in general?"

"High-fiving!" Lucrecia shouts, jumping up in the air and smacking Renata's hand again, giggling a bit. This has to be the worse day ever. No doubt about it. And the more Renata watches Lucrecia make an utter fool of herself, the more she wants to break down and cry, just like Lucrecia was doing a few moments ago. Little does she know that Lucrecia's so wasted that anything Renata pretty much says will send her into spiraling sessions of being super excited and she'll immediately run towards her with both of her hands in the air for a full-on, double high-five. But despite what Renata thinks, Lucrecia isn't really listening to her. At all. She's so inebriated that she's picking up random words she says and is pretty much using them as an excuse to high-five.

Renata could be talking about Summoner Sayuri all the way down to how much of a bitch Lucrecia is—it doesn't matter—she will _still _high-five her.

And thus there were about ten minutes of Lucrecia high-fiving the Princess and the Princess flinching in pain, trying not to make Lucrecia more upset than she actually is. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Lucrecia wraps her arms around Renata for the third time today and actually gives her a legit, warm hug. Yep. Renata's hair is in her eyes and in her mouth somewhat, and her eyes are _huge_ by this point. "I love you," Lucrecia purrs, stepping back and starting to walk ahead. Every step she takes she tips over, but she has her arms extended as if she's walking on a balancing beam. So it's okay. As long as she doesn't fall. Despite the strong desire to leave Lucrecia in the castle alone to go to that meeting, she doesn't want Lucrecia to end up getting hurt, so she follows behind her friend, extremely worried. So worried, in fact, that she's holding her arms out just in case Lucrecia falls.

"Why don't you sit down, Lucrecia—_wha_—!" The Princess wasn't exactly expecting Lucrecia to stop walking, so that's why she ran into her back and fell right on her backside, caressing her head even though she didn't fall on it. Standing in a triumphant, superhero-esque pose, the brunette doesn't turn around to look at Renata. But Renata knows Lucrecia's planning something. Even if she might not like it.

"Renata~!" she shouts, turning on her heels and getting too close to her face. Honestly, Renata's been reduced to a trembling, stressed out mess, considering Lucrecia's face is inches away from her own, her chestnut brown locks getting tangled with Renata's golden strands. "If Jesus could walk on water, and humans are seventy percent water..." She steps closer and closer to her until Renata tumbles backwards again, staring at Lucrecia towering over her. "Soooo. If I stand on you, I'm seventy percent Jesus!" It's not like Renata asked to be stepped on. Lucrecia just found her way to Renata's chest and took two big steps on her, grinning at the gagging noises the Princess was letting out.

"Lucrecia, please stop this now—please!"

"Okay."

It was that easy? What's going on here? The scientist hops off Renata and claps her hands together, doing a little spin and then swaying towards the ground. "Renata, I've always been super jealous of you 'cause of Aysel and princess stuff and I always sorta wanna'd to rule the kingdom myself and all." Now she's frowning. Oh great. Renata can't even pay attention to a single word that comes out of her mouth. All she knows is that Lucrecia is upset. Again. And might start crying. "It's not faaaairrr! Can we rule the kingdom together? Iyeaaa'd be the king and you could be the queen and I would take care of the kids and you could cook every night the pigs I'd kill for us and we'd live in a fucking log cabin and...!"

"Lucrecia, I do not think that would work. Please stop. You're scaring me," Renata pleads, her eyes tearing up again. She's expecting another crazy answer but instead of getting one, Lucrecia's eyes roll to the back of her head and she falls over backwards with a loud thud, making the goldette's eyes widen in complete and total fear. "Lucrecia! Lucrecia! Please wake up!" she implores, kneeling down and shaking the scientist profusely. The Princess' voice is ponticello—cracking with every syllable that comes out of her mouth. She keeps shaking and shaking her until she gives up, breaking down on the side of her bodyguard and covering her face with both of her hands. She doesn't care who hears her—she's done something absolutely terrible.

About thirty minutes later of Renata's non-stop crying, she starts to hear footsteps. She doesn't look up from her hands nor does she pay the sounds any mind. If there's someone who's coming this way, let them see what she's done. They can't convict the Princess, can they? Exactly. So maybe Renata has a chance and won't have to be executed. Oh wait, that's right, Lucrecia's laying on the ground _dead _right now, and it's all Renata's fault. If she hadn't been so mean... If she hadn't been so late... Five minutes. That's all she asked for was five small minutes. Naira walks down the hallway with a heavy scowl on her face, peering at Renata and very alarmed by her wailing.

The orange-haired woman is holding her nose with her left hand, blood seeping through the cracks in her fingers and down her arm, dripping over the floor. "Urrrgh!" Naira complains, sniffling. "It smells like nothing but vodka in this hallway!" That didn't get Renata to stop crying, but hearing Naira's voice made her feel a little bit better. Noticing how upset the Princess is, Naira's eyes soften and she removes her hand from her bleeding face. "Surely I only meant that in the nicest way possible, Princess Renata. But I must ask; what in the world has you on the ground looking a mess? I stepped in the castle from my demonstration at Aperture Army Academy and I was nearly knocked back on my feet! We are on the thirteenth floor, correct? Lucrecia's room on this floor, so I thought she must have done something stupid. I did not mean to cause you distress, Princess—"

"I broke—_waaaah!—_Lu!" Renata exclaims through clusters of sniffing and coughing and wheezing, her eyes bloodshot red. She gasps for air and then she buries her face again.

"You broke someone named Who?"

"Lucrecia! I broke her!"

That comment was so stupid that Naira couldn't even smile at that. In fact, she frowns, looking down the hall and pass Renata. "I do not see any sign of that idiot anywhere, how could you have...?"

"She's—_sniff_—under your—_sniff_—feet."

Oh. So that was the soft, fleshy thing Naira was standing on. Apparently. She takes on step back and then notices that Renata was right. Lucrecia looks downright pathetic. Face-first on the ground with her butt sticking up in the air, laying in a puddle of her own spit. If that isn't embarrassing, Naira doesn't know what is. If there's one thing she knows, it's that she needs to get Lucrecia out of this damn hallway before Aysel or someone sees. And then there's also the fact that Renata's wildly upset. The ex-soldier sighs. This'll be harder than she thought. She fidgets with the hilt of her sword and then she draws it, light reflecting off the steel of it. Renata looks through her fingers and gasps, choking a bit.

"Naira, what are you doing? You aren't going to chop her up into little pieces and...!"

"Renata, please shut up." The Princess was so shocked that she could only stare at the orange-eyed woman. "Thank you. You'll make yourself faint if you keep saying things like that. We all know how easily queasy you are." With her sword, Naira begins to poke at Lucrecia's body. "Oh yes. Poor pathetic woman got drunk." She looks over her shoulder. "Renata, be a darling and fill up a bucket with ice-cold water. And do not take your precious time getting here either."

The gold-haired woman nods her head frantically, finally happy that someone's helping her with this... Problem of sorts. "Yes ma'am!" Renata replies, saluting Naira before running into the next room over. The sound of the water running is like music to Naira's ears. At least it isn't incessant crying... Still, she can't believe Lucrecia got _this_ drunk. This is why Lucrecia's not fit to be the best fighter in the land. Not once has Naira ever been wasted to the point of passing out in the middle of a random hallway. Naira doesn't even drink like Lucrecia does. That insane woman drinks as if it's some kind of hobby. Tch. Typical of her to do something so stupid like this. Renata brings a bucket back, water spilling from the sides of it from her running too fast. She hands Naira the bucket of water and the older woman takes it without fail.

She's not much older than her.

About a couple of months older, but that's pretty much it.

"W-what are you doing to do with it, Naira?" Renata asks with her mouth in the form of an 'o'. "Are you going to wash Lucrecia's face? I must admit, she was crying a good amount before you came..." Naira doesn't justify that with an answer. She pours the bucket of icy-cold water on top of Lucrecia's head. Renata jumps back from the small droplets of water hitting her legs, and those small dots were _damn _cold. Naira was expecting Lucrecia to wake up, but she never even made a move. Huh. She puts her hands on her waist and glances over her shoulder, shaking her head.

Cue Renata starting back up crying again.

"Buh—but I—but you—_Naira—!_"

"Ssssh, Princess," Naira insists, bringing her index-finger to her lips. "Do you have any idea what Lucrecia drank? And how much of it she drank?" It's a question that confuses the flustered woman. Is this some kind of trick question? She knows Lucrecia probably drank something. Orange juice? Tea? Lucrecia likes coffee, so she probably had some of that too. Renata can sense how irritated Naira's getting at waiting so long for an answer, so the shiny-haired woman knits her gloved fingers together, refusing to look at her bodyguard in the eyes.

"Um water?"

"_Really_," Naira snorts, folding her arms. "Water, Princess? Water?" she demands in a grating tone, deadpanning the poor girl. "You _are _kidding, right?"

"I broke her! I broke her! I broke her! I broke her! _I BROKE HER!_" And she hysterically continued that madness mantra, clutching the sides of her face and sliding down the wall, hyperventilating. Her eyes were the size of saucers. Oh dear God. Naira's just standing there, watching Renata have her dramatic episode. "I broke her! I killed Lucrecia by leaving her all alone! _I KILLED LUCRECIA!_" She has to be kidding. She has to. Naira touches her forehead as Renata starts to cry again, but much louder this time. Naira wasn't aware that you could kill someone by leaving them all alone to themselves. But that raises a very good question. What was Lucrecia doing that got her so wasted? The ex-soldier straightens out her dress and steps on the other side of the knocked-out scientist, examining her eye.

"If I knew what she drank, maybe I could stop the Princess from crying..."

"This would probably answer your question, Naira." Cool. She can go for anything right now—as long as it gets her some answers. She's a little shocked that she could hear her own name over Renata's screams. She looks to her left and Zed's standing there, holding a clear, blue-tinted see-through bottle on his hands. As soon as she set her sights on that bottle, her eyes widened and she almost dropped her sword on the ground, a bit... Startled. "Looks like the Doctor forgot how to drink her vodka," he says on the end of a playful smirk, glancing down at her. "She is going to feel very nice in the morning, would you not agree?" Naira—with her mouth wide open—looks at Zed, and then she looks at Renata, and then she looks at Lucrecia, and then she looks at the bottle, absolutely speechless. Zed's taking this thing way too lightly. Forget feeling bad in the morning—she might be dead!

"That woman drank a whole bottle of ciroc? By_ herself_?" Naira shrieks, shaking her head. She doesn't know why she feels complete and utter horror right now, but it damn sure isn't because she likes Lucrecia and values her friendship, because they aren't anything close to being friends! Honestly! "Ciroc is pure alcohol! Over eighty-percent of it is alcohol and she drank the entire bottle?"

"It would appear so." There goes that same playful arrogance that blue-haired man only seems to display whenever Lucrecia's around. Or more-so whenever she's around and hurt. Naira brushes it off and gets back to business, doing very complicated math in her head. All she has to do is block out Renata's crying and Zed's smirking and she'll find the key to this puzzle.

"Alcohol's only purpose is to rob the body of water. She is probably dehydrated too," Naira acquiesces, tapping her chin. Then she comes to the best final conclusion in the history of final conclusions. "Um, if I may. I think Lucrecia here is royally screwed. If she does not has alcohol poisoning, she is going to get it real soon, and since none of us are doctors, she might just die here." Concurrent to Naira's proposition, Renata's crying gets louder. So loud that she made Zed cringe. He closes his eyes and snarls somewhat, blinking so he can shake off the bad feeling that came with the Princess's bad voice.

"She sounds like a dying police siren," he mutters, giving a disgusted expression. "How long has the poor Princess been crying like this?"

Naira shrugs. "Since I got here from Aperture. Where were you coming from?"

"I filed a huge amount of paperwork down in the Science Department. Normally Adel does that simple, irritating task, but he was not here so I found myself picking up the slack." For some reason, every trace of animosity left his voice and he seems rather amused with himself. Hello! Lucrecia's on the ground dying and you two are having a conversation about a bunch of nothing! "I have to admit that I did not expect to see this." Yep, neither did Naira. She shakes her head in agreement, and she was about to say something but Lucrecia staggered up to her feet, a thin trail of saliva hanging from her mouth. Renata stops her screaming, but she's still sniffing.

"But I broke Lucrecia..."

"Stop saying that, Princess Renata," Zed admonishes. "You did not_ break _her." He stops to smirk again, grinning faintly at Lucrecia standing up kind of clumsily. Renata wipes her eyes with her arm, nodding her head quietly. What would she do without her guard? "You merely just delayed her responses. That is all. Be a good girl now, Princess, and leave the rest of this terrible ordeal to us." Yeah. Naira is looking anything but sentimental and caring. Currently, she's burning a super huge hole into the back of Lucrecia's head, glaring her to death. The amusing part is that Lucrecia isn't giving Naira back any death glares. She's just smiling. Nothing more, nothing less.

"You idiot!" Naira shouts. "You are really pathetic, aren't you?"

The scientist doesn't really give much retaliation. "Yes, yes, I'm really pathetic!"

"_What._"

"I am really pathetic, Naira! I don't deserve to be living, why am I here?" The comment is so shocking that Naira actually doesn't know what to say. Lucrecia wasn't supposed to agree with her at all, especially from a comment that was so... Degrading. Did she actually just admit she knew she was apathetic? The orange-haired ex-soldier shakes her head, putting her hands on her waist and sighing. Well, they do say that people tend to tell the truth when they're drunk. It's kind of hard to lie when you're under the influence, and Lucrecia's _absolutely_ shitfaced. Before Naira can even say anything, Lucrecia gives her rival a nice, warm hug. Closing her eyes and exhaling a liquor-smelling breath in her face. Naira twitches. Big time. "I love you," she rasps, stepping back. "You care about me in this hallway annaaa—all of these emotions. You're such a nice—_hic!_—person Naira for sticking around and taking care of me when I'm pathetic and police sirens and I love you. Hearts and kisses! I'll give you one if you want me to. Or both! Anything to show my loveeee."

This is unbelievable! Naira takes several steps back, looking at the brunette with so much disgust. "Stay away from me!" she asserts, making an invisible line on the floor with her foot. "I neither want a heart from your or a kiss! Stop it right now—"

"Renata!" Lucrecia cheers, throwing her arms in the air. "I missed you! Where'd you go for so long?"

"I, um..."

"Oh dear Evreet!" Naira yells, slapping the absolute dog shit out of Lucrecia. "Stop it stop it stop it! Get a hold of yourself, you are acting stupid, and it is upsetting me because I am not supposed to care about you like this. You need to go to the hospital while you are still able to stand, because otherwise you are going to fall back out and asphyxiate yourself after you get the dry heaves." Instead of replying directly to Naira's statement, Lucrecia closes her eyes tightly, tears running down her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"You—_smack!—_are not—_smack!—_sorry! If you were sorry, you would not be acting stupid! Every time you say sorry, I am going to repeatedly smack you, and I mean it."

"You guys scare me! Bullshit, all of you are drunk."

The silence that resulted from that comment is thick enough to cut a cantaloupe in half. That made as much sense as Renata saying she broke Lucrecia. The brunette takes control of the silence and then she looks at the blue blur in the corner of her eyes—Naira pretty much knows what's going to happen next and facepalms, hoping that Lucrecia eventually collapses on the floor in a nice, goopy collection of her own vomit before she needs some sort of medical attention for her _impending alcohol poising...! _Still, this doesn't change the fact that she's incredibly wasted. Beyond wasted. Naira raises a brow, looking at Renata, who seems extremely confused. Poor girl. She doesn't know what's going on... The Princess holds a portion of her dress close to her, staring and Lucrecia and Zed with a critical eye, wondering when the next time she'll break Lucrecia'll be.

And in her drunken stupor, she stumbles towards him, giving some kind of warped, lazy, lethargic amused... Smile? "Oh, it's _you._" Nobody knows why she stressed that last word. And to be honest, nobody really cares. It just happened. The scientist then turns around and looks at Naira, throwing her left arm out and then shifting again. "I know you!" she proclaims, slurring just about every word. Yep, she's gotten worse. Now was she still talking to Zed, or did she shift her attention to Naira again? The brunette closes her eyes and puts on a sort of warm, wide smile, shaking her head in tune with her footsteps. "Sssssh! I have a secret!" Naira's face must have dropped. On the ground. And she was so irritated by Lucrecia's behavior that she didn't mind if she left it there. She turns back around, holding both of her hands to her face, inhaling a happy sigh and glancing at everyone.

"I-I know you're all probably sooo drunk right now, but I really love you—_hic_—all!" Her tone drops, bordering on being throaty. "I love you," she drawls, giving another silent hiccup before almost falling backwards. Naira rushes to her aid, holding her arms out but Lucrecia actually falls forward, clinging to the ruffles of Zed's shirt and quavering. Her flushed face tints a bit green, as if she's going to throw up any moment now. Neither Naira or Zed are looking forward to that, really, which is why Naira takes a big step back, looking out for any compulsive liquid that might come her way. "Neeee Zed, thank you for saving me. To be honest, I loved you since the sixth grade."

Naira licks her lips, holding both of her hands. "Uh huh. I think she's past the point of return. Let us leave her. Right now." Rapid head nods accompany Naira's suggestion, but Zed seems to find the whole thing amusing.

"Right," he murmurs. "And you are aware we met five years ago, right?" Whether or not she knows that isn't the main concern right now. He's interested in how far she'll take this. Call it morbid curiosity, if you will. What person goes on a drunken tangent about knowing someone in the sixth grade? Apparently her attention shifts towards Naira again and she points an indigent finger at her.

"You're here early."

"A tree fell on me," Naira snarls, throwing her arms in the air. "So I came back. Is that a problem, you silly drunk?"

"Tree! Yes, high-five!" The shorter woman looks up at Lucrecia's hand in the air, and she stares at it for a long while before she grabs the tips of her mechanical hand and moves it away, ducking under her arm and taking a step to the side. Renata finally finds the strength to stand up and she wipes her eyes with her arm again, licking her lips and looking hopefully at the other two.

"We have to come up with a plan," Renata declares, slamming her fist into her hand triumphantly. "We can do this! We have to. I don't want her to die, like Naira says..."

"_Don't cry!"_ Naira shot, balling up her fists. "It's not becoming of you, Princess. Especially over someone like _her_." Upon closer inspection, Renata notices that Naira's nose has been steadily bleeding since she's been up on this floor—isn't she herself worried about passing out from blood loss? Renata's been feeling a little woozy too from that Godawful smell—perhaps they should move somewhere? "I'm about to mind call someone in a minute. Maybe Adel so he can take his drunken daughter somewhere, because I am surely not dragging Lucrecia's body down these flight of stairs, and I am not wasting my energy teleporting her anywhere either."

"Zeeeed, when are you going to propose to me?" Here we go again. The brunette stands on her tip-toes, looking in the wrong direction again and seems very flustered, her hair in her face and her eye half-lidded. She seemed somewhat serious with her question; it made both Renata and Naira cringe. Waving both of her hands out, Renata steps inbetween the three, giving a nervous laugh.

"She has been talking nonsense like that ever since I found her!" the Princess insists before she lets out a nervous laugh. "She even asked if she could marry me—!"

"Why do you look like that? I only asked a simple questioooon." A pause, a turn. "Other people want to be proposed to at dinner and things, but..." And now she's crying. Again. "I want to be proposed to during furious love mak—_myuffauh—_" Faster than a raging bee, Naira's hand covers Lucrecia's full lips, smashing against her skin.

"How many times must I tell you!" Naira hisses, whispering in Lucrecia's ear. "When the Princess is in your presence, _you cut that out! _You have no respect for the royalty that has endowed you. You're such a disgrace to everyone in this guard!" Normally Zed doesn't really respond to a drunken woman's babble, but that comment was so amusing that he places a hand on his hip and smirks tilting his head and looking at her.

"It could always be arranged, Doctor," he says on the end of a playful, arrogant smirk. Renata shakes her head, stomps her foot—absolutely tired of all the chaos going on around her today—and shuts her eyes tightly.

"Stop it!" the Princess shouts. "Here's what we're going to do, we're going to give Lucrecia a—" She can't find the words she wants to say. Her hands are glowing brightly with focal energy, but she doesn't know what to do with it because she doesn't know exactly what's wrong with her. So Renata does the only thing she knows how to and collapses on her knees and cries some more, to Naira and Zed's irritation. However, as soon as Renata made those first two screams, Aysel walked into the room with her hands on her hips, staring at the entirety of her guard with Adel by her side, who looks more confused than she does.

"What in the name of Aysel...?" the Queen mutters, tilting her head and trying to make sense of the... Scene in front of her. Renata's face lights up and she jumps to her feet, throwing her arms around her mother and squeezing the dear life out of her. Aysel doesn't know how to respond to the eager act of affection, and so she looks down at her daughter, her arms extended outwards. "Renata, whatever is the matter? Can I, Queen Aysel, help you...?"

"Mother! It was horrible! I broke Lucrecia and I still think she's broken and I don't know what's wrong with her and I missed going to your meeting and I'm a bad person and a horrible daughter and I missed you so much and I couldn't help anyone and I feel so useless and alone and please don't be mad at me I know how much I've failed you and I'll go to sleep wearing guilt on my sleeves as long as I love just don't be mad I'm too young to be thrown in the dungeon for treason—!" Adel finds Renata's incessant banter highly amusing, but it's better to just end it here, right now.

"Princess Renata," he says with a wise, warm, slight smile. "We went to the meeting already. That was where we ventured off to."

Wait.

What?

Renata stops sniffling and she releases her mother. "You are not lying, are you Adel? You went to the meeting?" He gives the Princess an affectionate pat on her head and she blinks, refusing to believe that she went through all that worrying for nothing. She reminds him of Lucrecia when she was younger, always wanting to please her father in any way she could. Lucrecia used to do the same thing when she wasn't... Drunk, it seemed. "That really means a lot to me," she admits, wiping her eyes for the last time. She adjusts the tiara on her head and nods, smiling brightly. He's always been a sort of father-figure to her. Renata's grateful for every ounce of help he provides her. "Thank you, Adel." He nods in silent appreciation, and then he looks at Lucrecia, who is, apparently, dancing to a song in her head and grinning like a complete and utter idiot.

"Renata, you know how to heal someone who is under the influence, right?"

Delighted, the Princess puts her arms to the side and smiles, nodding her head. "Oh, you mean, Lucrecia was drunk this whole time?" She taps her finger on her chin, turning around to face the older woman. "Why did I not see it before?" As much as nobody wants to think Renata's stupid or naive... That's kind of hard, considering that all of the evidence was right there in front of her. The empty body, the vodka smell... It all had to go somewhere! The goldette snaps her fingers and gives a quick bounce, the amulet around her neck glowing a bright blue as she claps her hands together, giving Lucrecia a quick shot—a jolt of energy—before she goes crashing down to the floor backwards, her father gracefully catching her before she hits the ground.

And then.

Silence.

Honestly, Renata doesn't know what to do now. She spent her whole day tending to a drunk person, and she didn't even know it. Looking back on it though, she did good! Too happy and pleased about doing something all by herself, she skips to the next floor, leaving everyone else behind. "I solved the Sihrock problem!" Renata shouts in joy, over and over again. "I really am as smart as everyone says! Today is the best day ever!" She knows her day isn't over just yet, and she smiles even at that thought. She and Lucrecia are going to become the best 'hospital' friends for the next few hours.

She doesn't mind at all.

Five minutes.

Renata waited exactly five minutes for Lucrecia to come to.

Or an hour.

Or two.

What matters is that now, Lucrecia's awake and Renata's sitting next to her bed, staring over her with wide, bright eyes with her hair hovering over her face. The scientist's head is throbbing and she covers her forehead with both of her hands, groaning. She doesn't know why she's laying in Renata's bed, but she has a pretty good hunch what happened. Or not. Seeing Renata's happy face makes Lucrecia angry. So angry that she grits her teeth and starts to squeeze the small, pink stress ball next to her really, really hard. … And this is why Renata brought a stress ball. Because Lucrecia loses her composure really quick, especially when she has no control of a given situation. This just means that the brunette is back to normal. Finally.

"What the fuck happened?" Lucrecia shouts, squinting because her head didn't like what she just said. "Why do I feel so... So_ bad?_" That last part was forced out of her mouth. Her face contorted and she looked like she was going to throw up. Aww. Poor baby. She was hurt, wasn't she? Renata clapped both of her hands together and stood up, opening the satin curtains to let slivers of sunlight into the room. It'd hurt Lucrecia's eye for a while, but she needed it.

"You got drunk, unfortunately Lucrecia," Renata answers with a quick nod. "I found all of the evidence! Do you remember drinking something... Errm... Cir... Ciree... Sihrock! Ciroc! Aha! That's what it's called! Adel told me it's some kind of really hard vodka, and I know how much you like vodka, and he said that you're supposed to only put a cap-full of the stuff in another drink and mix it up, because it can get you drunk really fast and you drank the entire bottle."

"Oh."

What else is she supposed to say? 'Sorry I got drunk and I promise it won't happen again'? Lucrecia's a grown woman, and she doesn't have to answer to Renata. And especially not to Adel. She relaxes in Renata's bed for a moment and squints her eyes, raising her arms and then putting them down again. "Oh yeah. Shit. I remember now. I was just so mad about waiting for your ass that I must have not been paying attention and I drunk the whole bottle. No idea how. It's a good thing you healed me, or I really would have been dead." What was that? Did Lucrecia just really thank Renata? Passively? Even though she didn't say the words, Renata knows exactly what she means and her eyes soften—albeit watering a bit. Truth be told, she really looks up to the brunette and wants so bad to be exactly like her. To be strong and fast and a good fighter... Lucrecia doesn't let anything knock her down, especially drinking an entire bottle of "sihrock". "I'm surprised I didn't fall down the fucking stairs. Then I'd be in a world of trouble, huh?" She gives Renata a tiny little smile and the Princess takes a look at Lucrecia's hair.

Maybe it was all the stress and confusion, but now it's perfectly straight.

A sign that she needs to wash it soon.

Renata misses how each individual strand curls at the end at different intervals. "Oh, but you almost did!" Renata perkily announces, sticking her finger in the air. "You almost fell a few times, and you told Naira that you loved her—"

_Twitch._

"—and you said that you loved me too—!"

_Twitch._

"—you pretty much went on an 'I love you' spree! You even said you loved Summoner Sayuri!"

_Double twitch._

"But it is very much okay," Renata reassures, patting Lucrecia on her head. "I know you love me, because I love you too. I didn't know you were drunk until Adel told me many hours later! ...But you said something about wanting Zed to marry you?" Huh. Lucrecia's eye is nearly coming out of its socket because it's twitching so damn much. Renata puts on a thoughtful look, and then she walks around her room, gesturing towards the empty vodka bottle. "Naira said that we should have locked you outside until you sobered up, which I quickly declined, and Zed wanted to take you God knows where, so I just brought you up here in my room and looked over you until you started feeling better." She pauses, clasping both of her hands together. Now she looks kind of... Sad. "Just like you waited for me. I'm sorry, Lucrecia. I really, truly am."

The brunette opens her mouth to say something vicious and cruel, but she can't. Not after that huge apology and everything Renata said... So she gives her a faint, painful smile in return, exhaling.

"It's been such a long day," Lucrecia sighs, closing her eyes and then opening them again. "When I'm feeling better Renata, would you like me to teach you how to properly drink ciroc? I'll make you something fruity, I swear it. You won't even know what you're drinking."

The Princess doesn't drink, but she can't help but think of this as a declaration of the two of them 'hanging out like friends', and so she's eager to accept the invite. Besides, a little ciroc can't hurt. Lucrecia's the expert in the castle regarding liquor. And this time she knows not to drink too much of the stuff without mixing it with something else. She gives her bodyguard a beatific smile, clapping her hands together.

"I'd love to."


End file.
